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An Amateur's Poem

this is the very first poem i wrote in my life, and whenever i read it, and compare it with recent ones, i tell myself i have improved, but really, have i? why haven't i published? fear?

CONFUSION

Infatuation is a foolish love at first sight.
Foolish because you are loving blindly.
Blindly because you are loving what you can’t get.
What you can’t get, because you are unsure
If to you he can belong.
Relationships are journeys one embarks on.
The outcome sometimes your destination.
On the wrong lane the bus sometimes drops you.
To be content it’s best today’s blessing.
And tomorrow’s for itself leave.
But unabsorbed at times is a day’s blessing,
Because of confusion.
Of him, alone at home I think.
Tons to tell him I want.
I see him, and dumb become I.
For him to hear,
A trillion and one sweet things.
My words,
The sound of his voice distinguishes.
What, I ponder, do I await?
Scared I am. The answer.
I know risks go with life,
And without one, on further I go.
Should be strong I know.
Fragile is the heart.
Of loving I’m confused
Because I am scared.
Too much on my mind it seems.
Don’t know how to handle anything.
My way, nothing I want comes.
Two opportunities,
I know, are different.
Tight I should hold when one I have.
And with courage handle.
At the door, my burden place.
Maybe that could help.
Then maybe,
I can be a good friend.

(c) UZEZI EKERE. 17th AUGUST. 2001